Fight ?

I think i became an adult
I lost all kind of fantasies i could have
and though it does feel calmer
it feels empty

I have put aside that war
and honestly
i dont feel guilty for not fighting
i feel quite calm actually

the more the time pass by
the more am closing myself to the outside world
i dont even believe anymore in a saviour
and i havent been able to pray since weeks neither cause ...
that wouldnt be honest of me

I have no convictions no more
Some little goals that make me hold on everyday
Some memories that hurts me each and every day
music , food , and video games to help me get through the weeks

I save as much money as i can though it's hard
cause one of my goals is to get my hair back
For the look yes i wont lie
but more for proving to myself that things can change
even a lil bit
that i can get back for once what life took from me
Or maybe it was never mine
but that i dont think ill ever know it in that life

All i got is me
the love I built for myself
is what makes me hold on
I dont feel like fighting no more war
my whole life has been one already
and i never been the winner
Never...

So amma live
take care of myself
And may tomorrow hold surprises for me
Maybe surprises that could lemme dream again

This is not war
not today
neither tomorrow
This is me!
that's all it is , me .